Empty Soul
by Late Night Love Affair
Summary: The empty hole in Bella grows back when Edward leaves. She turns to Jacob, but will he still be there for her? I've got it all. Love, fights and Lemons. Sweet & Sour! A song fic.
1. All these tears that I've cried

So, I've been listening to this song for the past few hours, and it really inspired me to write a fan fiction. I'm not sure how long it's exactly going to be, but does anyone really? Now, before I being, I admit; it's deep. I practically cried just thinking about it. Usually, I'm in for something hot and spicy, but I couldn't turn this idea away. So, I now present to you Empty Soul.

The song is: Finding Myself by Smile Empty Soul. Hence the title

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own thoughts and the clothes on my back.

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Tear's stung my eyes as they soon welled over, pouring down my cheeks. Staining them. I couldn't seem to make my lips form into words. They were dead. Why was this happening? Why now?

His eyes seemed to be in more pain then I felt in my entire body. Why was he doing this to me again? Surely he knew I wouldn't be able to handle myself. Is that what he wanted? Me to leave so I couldn't put him in any more danger then he already was? The words all backed up in my throat, which I pushed up with a sob. "W-why?"

My heart sunk when he pulled his golden eyes away from my chocolate ones. I swallowed, shoving away tears, but I couldn't keep up with them. They continued to pour down my face. If I could, I would stop them. I would hide my weakness from him. From Edward. From my life.

I took a breath through my nose, trying to calm myself ever so slightly. His lips were pulled into a straight white line.

"Why?!" I pushed as much force into it as I could muster. Anger was beginning to rise.

His opened his pale lips to speak, but quickly shutting them, turning away. "Edward, you son of a bitch!" Ah, there is was. My anger. My anger that had been building up ever since I came to this god-for-saken town.

We were in my room. I stood at the edge of my bed facing the window. That's where he stood, leaning against the pane. His eyes never left the starless sky outside until I took a few steps towards him. I had no clue what I was doing. I wanted him so bad. I wanted his ice body next to mine. And he wanted nothing to do with me. Not anymore. I was a few steps away from him as my arm rose itself to touch his. It had a mind of its own as it guided itself up to touch the sleeve on his shirt. I could feel his freezing skin underneath which sent a shock through my body; just like it did the very first time he touched me.

"Edward…tell me." I didn't want it to sound like a plea, but I couldn't help but let it slip.

His voice was rough when he finally spoke. It was odd. Different from his usual velvet. "I can't do this anymore Isabella." I blinked. Why did he use my full name? "Do what?" His eyes finally flicked up to mine. He looked sad. He looked sorry. "I don't want to hurt you anymore." He veered from my question as I peered into his eyes.

"Edward…" His name stuck on my tongue. "You're not. Edward, I love you so much. Please, don't leave me again." He hissed under his breath. He knew he was breaking his word. He knew this was going to hurt more then it should. "We can work this out. You can even change me tonight! Just let me change and we can go to Carlisle and -" He cut me off.

"No Isabella. I'm not changing you... No one is."

I stuttered with my words. This could not be happening again. Well, at least I was inside the house this time. Now I wouldn't have to have a bunch of werewolves come find me and bring me back to Charlie. I could see his face now when he would find me in the morning.Plus, I'm not even sure if Sam would help me this time. I hadn't spoken with him in such a long time. And Sam only reminded me of Jacob, which made me hurt deep down. "W-what do y-you mean? E-Edward…" I choked back sobs as I took another step towards him, only to have him pull away coldly. I shuddered.

"I'm leaving." I had heard those words before. "I'm not coming back this time. I've been talking to Tanya…"

I didn't need to hear anymore. My open palm collided with his cheek. I was sure that it hurt me more then it hurt him, but it was the thought that counted. He kept his eyes down, but they went wide with shock.

"Get out." I spat. His lips mashed back into the white line as his head lifted, looking down at me. "Get out. Now!" My voice practically dripped with venom, much more powerful then the type he resisted from me . "Goodbye Bella." I scoffed at his sickeningly sorry voice. Like he actually cared. He couldn't. He promised he would never leave, and here he was, telling me 'goodbye'. This was bullshit!

My voice dropped to barely a whisper. "Get out."

With that, he was gone.

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And that's just the beginning! I'm not going to Bella all depressed like she was the first time. Sorry SM, but I've got a few new ideas for her. And yes, it is a Bella/Edward fic. I just like creating drama. There's way to much in my life. snicker. Anyways. I have the second Chapter already typed, so once I get some reviews it'll be up in a jiffy!

- LNLA xox


	2. Can I be your memory?

I didn't want to leave it off at that. So even though I've yet to get any reviews, here's the second chapter. And yes, I'm still listening to 'Finding Myself' since the last time I wrote. I know Kylie'll thank me for posting this. So, with further adu, I present to you; Can I be your Memory? Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I still own nothing. But I did just get a new pair of shoes. They're snazzy.

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The light blinded me for a few minutes. Scrunching up my nose, the sun felt warm against my bare skin. Even the skin below my thick flannel pajamas could feel the heat. Breathing in the normal scent of my pillow I sighed deeply. My eyes flicked to the clock. Edward was going to be here soon. Pulling myself up I looked around. Sunny and quiet. No cloud in the sky. No birds in the back round. The silence was eerie.

I stood and walked towards the window. Charlie's police cruiser was gone.

I turned as a pain shot through my head. My hand jolted up, squeezing the bridge of my nose. Headaches always killed me. Literally. My eyes snapped shut as I made my way towards the bathroom. I knew the hall well enough to know how to get there, but I held out my free hand to guide me along the wall. Pushing the door open I slid open the medicine cabinet.

My dream was so real! I never had such a vivid dream before. And trust me, I knew what nightmares really looked like. I had managed find the small bottle of Advil as I swallowed the tablet and ran my mouth under the tap. I gulped the last drop down and headed back to my room. Where was Edward? It was well around 9. I never usually slept this wake, and he never usually let me.

My eyes landed on a small parchment on my nightstand. That hadn't been there last night, had it? I walked hesitantly over to it, letting my fingers graze over the top crease. I caught my breath in my throat as I slowly opened it.

_Isabella Swan,_

Oh god. Oh fuck. It wasn't a nightmare, was it?!

_I never wanted this to happen again. But I never wanted to put you into more danger then before._

I could picture him writing this. His perfect face dressed in sorrow. Wait, no. He wasn't sad! He was getting rid of his human pet. That's all I was to him. His pet. A family pet. I was like that fish you beg your mom for, and then a week later you couldn't give two shits about it. I was that fish to Edward. I didn't want to read anymore. I was too angry. With all the force in my body, I tore the paper in half, ruining his perfect script. I put the two halve on each other before giving it another good yank.

Letting the squares drop to the floor, emptiness took me from the inside out.

I stomped down the stairs and towards the kitchen. My hands balled into tight fists, then let go. Ten seconds latter, they would wind back up into white knuckled fists. I needed to punch something. Thank god Charlie wasn't home. I knew I would take this out on him. Not only that, but he would take it. Tears welled up in my eyes as I leaned against the counter, bracing myself if I were to fall.

So this was it. Edward was gone, and there was nothing that could bring him back to me. I guess he didn't want to go to hell after all. I, on the other hand, was condemned to a life of monsters. He was apart of my life, and no matter how far he ran and how much he tried to forget me, I was a part of his.

Letting my hand fall, I peered out the window and into the forest. I began to drum my fingers as my mind wandered. Maybe I could call Jacob. I mean, he was my friend after all. My best friend at one point, but a friend none the less.

I dialled his number and waited. After two rings, I heard the musky voice. "Hullo?" God, he probably hasn't slept for weeks. My voice was just above a whisper.

"Jacob?"

There was silence, matching the one from this morning. "Hi…" I winced at his tone, but I knew I wasn't going to lie and say I didn't deserve it. I did. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me. "Jacob…" I started again. He said nothing. Just waited.

"Can I come see you?"

His breathing returned. I could basically hear his thought in his head. _What Bella? I'm good enough for you when your bloodsucker leaves, but when he comes back, I'm tossed away like last weeks trash?! No, I don't think so. I love you, but not that much._ "Yeah sure…"

I sighed, feeling like a weight was lifted form my shoulders. He was mad at me, no doubt. But he still cared. He still cared enough to want to see me anyways. "Thanks Jake…I'll see you soon. Bye." He hung up instantly, leaving me there listening to the tone for a few seconds.

Putting the phone back into the cradle, I dashed up stairs to change. 10 minutes later I was back down where I started, pulling an apple from the fridge. I had been able to convince Charlie to eat more healthier foods ever since Harry's death. He made a fuss at first, but I knew he was coming around. I even saw him munching on celery sticks a few days back. I didn't even have to pry his mouth open this time!

In an instant, I was in my toasty warm truck. It may have been warm in the sun, but it was freezing cold outside. It was almost as cold as Edwards ice kisses. No, no, no! Fuck him. The trees were clear of all their leaves. Now they all danced with the wind on our front grass. I would have to rake them up soon. It would probably take me an entire weekend just to finish the front yard alone. Jamming my keys into the ignition, my truck roared to life. Pulling the shift into reverse, my truck eased from the stony drive, and I took off towards La Push.

That's when it hit me.

"ARG!"

My foot stomped down on the brake as my arms instantly wrapped around my stomach. Oh no. Not this again. I squeezed my stomach tighter as my fingers clenched tightly to my ribs. The hole in my side was blazing, like it was on fire. It was the same feeling as last time, but now it wouldn't stop. A honk made my head snapped up.

I had forgotten I was still in the middle of the road. There was another honk, and someone yelling. Prying a hand from my body, I gripped the steering wheel tightly and continued on my way. If only I could stop this searing pain, then maybe these tears could stop messing up my vision. I passed the first few houses of La Push, but pulled off to the shoulder. I had one more street to go before I would get to the Black's residence.

I took a breath. _It's alright. You can do this. Jacob is here to help you. _

What the hell was I doing?! Jacob didn't want to see me. He loved me so much, and I turned my back on him. I loved what he hated. I frowned as my arms snaked back around my body, holding me together. I didn't need this. Not anymore. I jumped at the knock on my window. Letting out a loud gasp, I looked up and smiled. His dark eyes were watching me. His lip were pulled across into a smile, but his cheek bones didn't rise. I yanked open the door, and flung my arms around him. He just stood there shocked.

"Jacob!"


End file.
